When someone you love gets sick, it can be scary.

You wonder if they’ll ever get better, if you’ll ever see them healthy again, and regret not cherishing it when they were healthy.

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Maybe you even feel guilty. Guilty for feeling sad and wondering if that’s selfish, or guilty for every negative thing you may have ever thought or said about them.

But the fact is, you couldn’t have known things would ever turn out that way. When you had negative thoughts or didn’t cherish their health when they had it, you didn’t know that some day, something terrible could happen to them. Even if the thought did occur to you, you weren’t worried about it then. When you had these thoughts, they were rational.

It’s okay to feel guilty, sad, scared, or angry about their illness. It’s even okay not to know how to feel. Illness touches the people who are sick and the people who love them in a multitude of different ways. Cry if you need to cry, take time to process it if you need time, feel scared if you need to feel scared.

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Things may be the same again some day, and they may not be.

All you can do is cherish the times you did have with them, and trust that there may be a day when you can have more. Let yourself feel the way you need to feel now. No matter how grave and immediate it may seem, there’s a very good chance you will have time.

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-Miss Usagi

Sailor Moon says:

People can be really nice sometimes, but other times, they can be really cruel.

It’s awful overhearing people say bad things about you to someone else. Sometimes, it makes you feel bad and you wonder if they’re right, but sometimes, you know it’s not true and it either hurts your feelings or makes you think less of the other person. It’s been happening with me a lot lately, I found out almost everyone whose supposed to be my friend says awful things about me.

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In either case, we often don’t defend ourselves. They didn’t know you heard, right? They never would have said that if they did! And what if confronting them just proves their point?

The fact is, you deserve to stand up for yourself. People saying bad things about you says way more about them than it does you. It not only suggests a lack of respect for you and your needs, but it also means they could say bad things about everyone else.

Imagine that whatever that person is saying about you, they’re saying it about you as a little kid. You don’t have to yell or scream at them, but tell them you heard what they said. You don’t even have to say anything else, in fact, I’ve found that walking away after saying so is often the best thing you can do to confront them and minimize the potential that you’ll wind up feeling worse than you did before. There’s no excuse for someone to treat you that way, and the explanation often isn’t worth waiting for.

You deserve to stand up for yourself the same way you’d stand up for your best friend. Take care of yourself and treat yourself right, and make sure no one else gets in the way of that.

-Miss Usagi

I never meant to take a hiatus, especially not such a long one, but sometimes it’s not ourselves that make us feel stressed out or bad, but the people around us.

I’ve noticed how bad I am at interacting with people, even those I’m close to. I think I act like everyone else around me, but it seems like almost every time I speak, people look at me like I spoke in a long-dead language.

No one intentionally tries to make me feel bad about myself, even when they think I’m weird, and I don’t feel bad or like there’s necessarily something wrong with me. I feel like those people just don’t understand me and we’re different kinds of people.

Maybe I’m better off not having many friends. I’ve always been very anti-social. I like people. I have a generalized love for humanity and I love feeling like sometimes I have insights that can help them, but the fact is, people just don’t like me or understand me.

Sometimes people think I’m smarter than them, and sometimes they just think I’m a freak, (and not in a good way!) but 99% of the time they wind up not wanting to talk to me.

It’s that 1% of people who I can be around and who can be around me that wind up making me keep on opening my mouth, extending my hand, and trying to introduce myself to people hoping they’ll be different.

I’m not really sure where this is going so…I’m pretty sure you all think I’m odd now, huh?

With love,

Miss Usagi